So what do we have to hope for when what we hope in shatters into so many pieces that we can't possibly put it back together? We all feel like this at times. Those of us who disagree are lying or denying.
We place our self worth in possessions, but they are temporary.
We place our self worth in our careers, but one day we will be too old to work.
We place our self worth in our significant others, but people will always let us down.
I've heard it said that your life should reflect the love of Christ. But how many of us will continue to hold our grudge? How many of us will continue to ignore the poor, the hungary, the unlovable? How many of us will continue to lie to ourselves and say that we believe in God so we are saved from fire and brimstone? Too many, and I will tell you one thing: The scent of hell is in our nostrils. The flames show in our eyes. The hate pours from our lips. Guess what? We're not safe if we continue to think that we've done enough.
But there is a world out there that is longing to feel that love that we say emanates from our very being. There is a world that doesn't understand that the only way to live is to prepare to die. There is a dying generation sleeping with the dead. Hoping to fill the void that the sunlight had left when they left the sunlight. We have purged ourselves and it makes us feel like we've accomplished something. There is a mission, there is an unfulfilled vocation in our kingdom. It is the position of The Messenger.
Mark me with fire and send me,
Among the living dead.
They cannot comprehend me,
I watch the sickness spread.
Kiss the coals,
Breathe in smoke,
And I say:
Here I am send me.
I have been sent. I have stared our enemy in the face and smiled as wide as The Joker. I have seen what some hope to never experience. But fear slowly becomes surrender. And the irony of it all is that only when we are on our knees, can we fight with both feet on the ground. Only when we realize we are weak, are we strong. Only when we admit we defeat ourselves, can we overcome us. But only with the hope that comes with resting in the grace of God. Only in the reverence of what we don't understand can we find the peace to say, "I don't know".
And that scares us more than we can say. But the thing about fear is that when you see it for what it is, it loses it's power over you. Only then can you say, "I am Yours!". And only then, can we stop searching for meaning.
We all live for something, but the shame of it is that some of us will die for nothing. What will you live for? And more importantly, what will you die for?